Getting Past No 75: The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Rejection and Achieving Success
Getting past no 75: How to overcome rejection and achieve your goals
Have you ever faced a situation where you were rejected by someone or something that you wanted? Maybe it was a job application, a college admission, a date request, or a sales pitch. Whatever it was, it probably felt like a punch in the gut. You might have wondered what you did wrong, what you could have done better, or what was wrong with you.
Getting past no 75
If you have experienced rejection, you are not alone. In fact, rejection is one of the most common and universal human experiences. It is also one of the most painful and challenging ones. Rejection can make you feel angry, sad, frustrated, hopeless, or worthless. It can also make you doubt yourself and your abilities, and lose motivation to pursue your goals.
But rejection does not have to be the end of the road. It can also be an opportunity for growth, learning, and improvement. Rejection can teach you valuable lessons about yourself, others, and the world. It can also help you develop resilience, persistence, and perseverance. Rejection can make you stronger, smarter, and more successful.
In this article, we will explore how to get past no 75, which is a term coined by Brian Tracy, a motivational speaker and author. No 75 refers to the average number of times that a person has to hear "no" before they hear "yes". It means that rejection is inevitable and normal in life, and that you have to keep trying until you succeed.
We will also discuss the psychology of rejection, the strategy of persistence, the power of feedback, the art of persuasion, and the secret of success. By the end of this article, you will learn how to overcome rejection and achieve your goals.
The psychology of rejection
Why rejection hurts so much
Rejection hurts because it triggers a primal response in our brains. According to evolutionary psychology, humans are social animals who depend on others for survival and reproduction. Being rejected by our tribe or group meant that we were in danger of being isolated or abandoned, which could lead to death or starvation.
Therefore, our brains evolved to perceive rejection as a threat to our existence. When we are rejected, our brains activate the same regions that are involved in physical pain. This is why rejection feels like a physical wound. Our brains also release stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which increase our heart rate, blood pressure, and alertness.
Rejection also hurts because it affects our sense of identity and belonging. We tend to base our self-worth on how others perceive and treat us. When we are rejected, we feel that we are not good enough, not worthy, or not wanted. We feel that we don't belong or fit in. We feel that we are alone and unloved.
How rejection affects your self-esteem and motivation
Rejection can have a negative impact on your self-esteem and motivation. Self-esteem is the degree to which you value and respect yourself. Motivation is the drive and energy that you have to pursue your goals. Both are essential for your happiness and success.
When you are rejected, you may experience a drop in your self-esteem. You may start to doubt your abilities, skills, talents, or qualities. You may feel insecure, inferior, or inadequate. You may also compare yourself to others who seem to be more successful or accepted than you.
When you are rejected, you may also lose motivation to try again. You may feel discouraged, defeated, or hopeless. You may think that there is no point in continuing or that you will never succeed. You may also avoid taking risks or challenges that could lead to further rejection.
How to cope with rejection in a healthy way
Rejection is painful and unpleasant, but it is not the end of the world. There are ways to cope with rejection in a healthy way that can help you heal, grow, and move on. Here are some tips:
Acknowledge and accept your emotions. Don't deny, suppress, or ignore your feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, or frustration. Allow yourself to feel them fully and express them in a safe and constructive way. For example, you can talk to a friend, write in a journal, cry, scream, or punch a pillow.
Don't take it personally. Rejection is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. It is not a judgment of your character or potential. It is simply a result of a mismatch between you and the person or situation that rejected you. There could be many reasons for the rejection that have nothing to do with you, such as timing, preferences, circumstances, or compatibility.
Don't generalize or catastrophize. Rejection is not a sign that you are doomed to fail or that you will never find happiness or success. It is not a confirmation of your worst fears or beliefs about yourself or the world. It is just one event in your life that does not define you or your future. Don't let one rejection make you think that all is lost or that you are worthless.
Reframe and learn from the rejection. Rejection can be an opportunity for growth, learning, and improvement. Instead of seeing it as a failure or a setback, see it as a feedback or a lesson. Ask yourself what you can learn from the rejection and how you can use it to improve yourself or your situation. For example, you can identify your strengths and weaknesses, improve your skills or knowledge, change your strategy or approach, or find new opportunities or alternatives.
Boost your self-esteem and motivation. Rejection can lower your self-esteem and motivation, but you can restore them by focusing on your positive attributes and achievements. Remind yourself of your qualities, skills, talents, and values that make you unique and valuable. Celebrate your successes and accomplishments, no matter how big or small. Set realistic and attainable goals that challenge and inspire you. Reward yourself for your efforts and progress.
Seek support and connection. Rejection can make you feel isolated and lonely, but you don't have to go through it alone. Reach out to people who care about you and who can offer you emotional support, comfort, and encouragement. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you and who share your interests and values. Join groups or communities that can provide you with social interaction, belonging, and purpose.
The strategy of persistence
What is persistence and why it is important
Persistence is the ability to continue pursuing a goal despite obstacles, challenges, difficulties, or failures. It is also known as grit, determination, perseverance, resilience, tenacity, or stamina.
Persistence is important because it is one of the key factors that determine your success in life. Persistence helps you overcome rejection and achieve your goals by:
Keeping you focused on your vision and purpose
Giving you the confidence and courage to face challenges
Helping you learn from mistakes and failures
Inspiring you to try new things and explore new possibilities
Making you adaptable and flexible to changing situations
Enhancing your creativity and problem-solving skills
Influencing others to support you and join you
How to develop a persistent mindset
Persistence is not a fixed trait that you are born with or without. It is a mindset that you can develop and cultivate through practice and habit. Here are some tips to develop a persistent mindset:
Have a clear and compelling goal. A goal is a specific and measurable outcome that you want to achieve. A clear and compelling goal gives you direction, motivation, and meaning. It helps you focus your attention and energy on what matters most to you. It also helps you track your progress and evaluate your results.
Have a strong and positive attitude. A attitude is a way of thinking and feeling about yourself, others, and the world. A strong and positive attitude gives you confidence, optimism, and resilience. It helps you cope with stress and challenges, and overcome negative emotions such as fear, doubt, or anger. It also helps you see opportunities and possibilities, and appreciate your achievements and successes.
Have a growth and learning mindset. A mindset is a set of beliefs and assumptions that shape your behavior and actions. A growth and learning mindset is the belief that you can improve your abilities and skills through effort and feedback. It helps you embrace challenges and failures as opportunities to learn and grow. It also helps you seek feedback and advice from others, and apply them to improve your performance.
Have a plan and a strategy. A plan is a detailed outline of the steps and actions that you need to take to achieve your goal. A strategy is a set of principles and guidelines that help you make effective decisions and choices along the way. Having a plan and a strategy helps you organize your time and resources, prioritize your tasks, and anticipate potential problems or risks. It also helps you adjust your plan or strategy when necessary, based on your feedback or results.
Have a support system and a network. A support system is a group of people who can provide you with emotional, practical, or professional support. A network is a group of people who can offer you information, advice, opportunities, or referrals. Having a support system and a network helps you feel connected, supported, and valued. It also helps you access valuable resources, insights, or contacts that can help you achieve your goal.
How to deal with setbacks and failures
Setbacks and failures are inevitable in life. They are part of the process of pursuing any worthwhile goal. They are not signs that you are not good enough or that you should give up. They are opportunities to learn, improve, and grow.
However, setbacks and failures can also be discouraging, frustrating, or demoralizing. They can make you feel like quitting or losing hope. They can also make you doubt yourself or your abilities.
Therefore, it is important to deal with setbacks and failures in a constructive way that can help you overcome them and move forward. Here are some tips to deal with setbacks and failures:
Analyze the situation objectively. Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment or distort your perception of reality. Try to look at the situation from different perspectives and angles. Identify the causes and consequences of the setback or failure. Ask yourself what went wrong, what went right, what you can control, what you can't control, what you can change, what you can't change.
Take responsibility for your actions. Don't blame others or external factors for your setback or failure. Don't make excuses or rationalizations for your mistakes or shortcomings. Acknowledge your role and contribution to the outcome, whether positive or negative. Accept the consequences of your actions, whether favorable or unfavorable.
Learn from the experience. Don't dwell on the past or regret what could have been. Don't repeat the same mistakes or errors in the future. Extract the lessons and insights from the setback or failure. Ask yourself what you learned about yourself, others, or the situation. Ask yourself how you can use this knowledge to improve yourself or your situation.
Take action to improve the situation. Don't let the setback or failure paralyze you or stop you from trying again. Don't wait for things to get better by themselves or for someone else to fix them for you. Take proactive steps to improve the situation or prevent it from happening again. Ask yourself what you can do differently or better next time. Ask yourself what resources or help you need to achieve your goal.
Stay positive and optimistic. Don't let the setback or failure affect your self-esteem or motivation. Don't lose sight of your vision or purpose. Don't lose faith in yourself or your abilities. Maintain a positive and optimistic attitude that can help you overcome challenges and difficulties. Focus on the positive aspects and outcomes of the situation. Focus on your strengths and achievements. Focus on your goals and dreams.
The power of feedback
What is feedback and why it is valuable
Feedback is the information or response that you receive from others or yourself regarding your performance or behavior. Feedback can be positive or negative, formal or informal, verbal or nonverbal, direct or indirect, solicited or unsolicited.
Feedback is valuable because it can help you improve your performance and achieve your goals by:
Giving you an objective and realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses
Helping you identify and correct your mistakes or errors
Providing you with suggestions and recommendations for improvement
Reinforcing your good practices and habits
Motivating you to keep learning and growing
Boosting your confidence and self-esteem
Enhancing your communication and relationship with others
How to ask for and receive feedback effectively
Feedback is not always given to you automatically or spontaneously. Sometimes, you have to ask for it yourself. Asking for feedback can be challenging, especially if you are afraid of criticism or rejection. However, asking for feedback can also be beneficial, especially if you are proactive and open-minded.
Here are some tips to ask for and receive feedback effectively:
Ask for feedback regularly and timely. Don't wait until the end of a project or a period to ask for feedback. Ask for feedback throughout the process, as soon as possible after completing a task or an action. This way, you can get timely and relevant feedback that can help you improve your performance or behavior.
Ask for feedback from multiple sources and perspectives. Don't rely on one person or one source for feedback. Ask for feedback from different people and different sources who can offer you different perspectives and insights. For example, you can ask for feedback from your boss, your colleagues, your clients, your mentors, your peers, or yourself.
Ask for feedback on specific aspects and criteria. Don't ask for vague or general feedback that can be confusing or unhelpful. Ask for specific and clear feedback that can help you focus on the most important or relevant aspects and criteria of your performance or behavior. For example, you can ask for feedback on your skills, knowledge, attitude, results, goals, processes, methods, strategies, etc.
Ask for feedback in a respectful and polite way. Don't demand or beg for feedback that can make you seem arrogant or desperate. Ask for feedback in a respectful and polite way that can make others feel comfortable and willing to give you feedback. For example, you can use phrases such as "I would appreciate your feedback", "Could you please give me some feedback", "What do you think of my performance", "How can I improve my performance", etc.
Receive feedback with gratitude and curiosity. Don't react to feedback with defensiveness or hostility. Receive feedback with gratitude and curiosity that can make others feel appreciated and respected. For example, you can use phrases such as "Thank you for your feedback", "I appreciate your feedback", "That's interesting", "Can you tell me more", "Can you give me an example", etc.
How to use feedback to improve your performance
Feedback is not useful unless you use it to improve your performance or behavior. Using feedback effectively can help you achieve your goals faster and better by:
Evaluating your performance objectively and realistically
Identifying your areas of improvement and development
Setting specific and measurable goals for improvement
Implementing action plans and strategies for improvement
Monitoring your progress and results
Seeking more feedback to refine your performance
Here are some tips to use feedback to improve your performance:
Analyze the feedback carefully and critically. Don't accept or reject the feedback blindly or impulsively. Analyze the feedback carefully and critically to determine its validity, relevance, accuracy, and usefulness. Consider the source, the context, the purpose, the content, and the tone of the feedback.
Focus on the constructive and actionable feedback. Don't dwell on the negative or irrelevant feedback that can demoralize or distract you. Focus on the constructive and actionable feedback that can help you improve your performance or behavior. Look for the positive and negative aspects, the strengths and weaknesses, the compliments and criticisms, the suggestions and recommendations.
Make a plan and a schedule for improvement. Don't leave the feedback on the shelf or in the drawer. Make a plan and a schedule for improvement that can help you apply the feedback to your performance or behavior. Identify the specific actions and steps that you need to take to improve your performance or behavior. Set a timeline and a deadline for each action and step.
Execute your plan and track your progress. Don't procrastinate or delay your improvement. Execute your plan and track your progress that can help you achieve your improvement goals. Follow through with your actions and steps, and measure your results and outcomes. Compare your performance or behavior before and after the feedback.
Seek more feedback and repeat the process. Don't stop improving or learning. Seek more feedback and repeat the process that can help you refine your performance or behavior. Ask for more feedback from the same or different sources, and use it to further improve your performance or behavior. Keep repeating the process until you reach your desired level of performance or behavior.
The art of persuasion
What is persuasion and why it is essential
Persuasion is the ability to influence others to agree with you, support you, or do what you want them to do. Persuasion can be done through various methods, such as logic, emotion, evidence, authority, or rapport.
Persuasion is essential because it can help you achieve your goals by:
Winning over your audience and gaining their trust and respect
Convincing them of the value and benefits of your idea, product, or service
Motivating them to take action or make a decision in your favor
Resolving conflicts or disagreements with others
Creating positive and lasting relationships with others
How to understand your audience and their needs
Persuasion is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Different people have different needs, preferences, values, beliefs, and personalities. Therefore, you need to understand your audience and their needs before you can persuade them effectively.
Here are some tips to understand your audience and their needs:
Research your audience. Don't assume that you know everything about your audience. Research your audience to gather relevant and accurate information about them. For example, you can use surveys, interviews, observations, or online tools to collect data about your audience's demographics, psychographics, behaviors, attitudes, opinions, or interests.
Segment your audience. Don't treat your audience as a homogeneous group. Segment your audience into smaller and more specific groups based on their characteristics or needs. For example, you can use criteria such as age, gender, income, educ